come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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