**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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