Soap is not a condiment
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
