sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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