is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
