Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
soo... how was my night?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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