There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Pappa wants mamma naked
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
