tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
