hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
We left an ass print on the piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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