sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
