yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
