At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
