Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize