so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
this will be a night to untag.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It's blow job season.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Randomize
