i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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