forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
This is classic penis vs brain.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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