Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
