I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
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