Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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