Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
