Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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