chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
