I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
