I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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