I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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