so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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