I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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