Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We have started to decorate penises.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize