Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize