she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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