Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
