In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
