I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
