PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
