pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
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i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
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Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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