i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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