so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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