Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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