He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize