Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
