YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
This toilet bowl is my home.
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