Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
