Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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