Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
