ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
