uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
im six kinds of drunk right now
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
