I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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