Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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