At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize