I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize