We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
