glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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