Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
