I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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