I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
a search helicopter?!
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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