can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
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I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
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Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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