At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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