didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
