didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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