i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"