My liver just broke up with me...
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want