its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
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Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
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I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.