Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers