I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
