that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
