at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I want to have your abortion
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
