I'm eating all of the evidence.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize