You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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