I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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