so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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